Okay, maybe it's just my heightened emotional state because of pms (or whatever the heck I have right now), or maybe it's just because I really want a baby…and even though it's stupid to get all worked up over fictional tv characters…I was just in tears last night after Rachel gave birth on Friends. Is it fair that she has a baby and not me??? Is it???? No, really, that's not why I was emotional…yes I was envious…but more than anything I was imagining my reaction and Mike's reaction when we someday bring our own little baby into the world. That's what made me cry. Anticipation of joy. But I know that there is no way I can ever really imagine what it will feel like to have a little bundle of cuddles and love placed into my arms for the first time. I know that I can't begin to know the emotions that will flow over me. I can imagine, but I'm sure I'll not even come close. But I joyfully anticipate the day…someday :)

Either I'm pmsing or I'm pregnant, because I couldn't stop eating today….grrr…and I'm a raving bitchy maniac right now…so I think it's pms, but if it is I WISH “IT” WOULD HURRY UP AND GET HERE AND GET OVER WITH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!! And if it isn't, then the next pregnancy test I take better darned well be positive…hrmph.

Trust me, you really don't want to be around me right now. Keep Mike in your good thoughts…poor man…

Everyone I know is pregnant or has been recently…okay…not EVERYONE, but darn near everyone…at work there have been seven babies born/pregnancies announced this school year…SEVEN! That's like a fourth of the staff! In the friends department, there have been six babies born/pregnancies announced in like the past year or so….and why am I mentioning this? Because dammit..I'm STILL not pregnant!!!!! Now don't get me wrong…I am very very very happy for everyone, but geesh…when do the fertility cooties hit ME???? I thought about it for awhile, and I pondered whether or not I was just noticing it more because we're trying or if it really was “raining babies” and the answer is…it's raining babies…even Sarah Jessica Parker is pregnant for goodness' sake!

As a good friend said to me not long ago…if you believe in God, and I know you do, you'll trust in His plan for you…and that is true, but even He is sending me signals that the time is right to get pregnant, and YET…still no morning sickness…at this point, I think I'll rejoice in puking (is that a sad commentary on my life right now or what?) So if by this time next month that darn little stick that you pee on doesn't get two solid lines on it…I'm gonna cry….or just wait until the next month and have lots of sex all over again (I guess there is a positive side to this…eh?)

In the meantime, the days of ovulation are almost upon us, so keep your fingers crossed!!!