I think it’s been a good long while since I posted a rant, so be warned. It might will contain some bad language!

So my dad came to visit today – which is good. I know LG enjoys spending time with her grandfather (even if we have to repeat like EVERYTHING we say at least once and sometimes more than that (if only he would get a hearing aid!)). However, toward the end of the visit he said he wished me and his wife would get along better. Um. Yeah.

Just a quick background for those of you who do not know the story of “She Who Shall Not Be Named” otherwise known as my father’s wife.

My mom died in March of 2000. My dad got engaged in June of 2000. While I was out of the country. Mike met me at the airport with that little piece of news. I was not really thrilled with it. For one thing, I was jet lagged and tired and for another, I was (understandably I think) still grieving my mother’s death and not really quite ready to deal with that little piece of information.

The next day his fiancee called me on the phone. Remember, I’m jet lagged and have not had NEARLY enough time to process this news. I begged off talking to her because I just couldn’t deal with in the state I was in at that moment, so Mike talked to her. And Mike was very polite and very nice as he usually is and that was that. However, she has held that against me to this day. You would think that someone of her years (who also had lost a husband and had a child that wasn’t thrilled with the marriage) might understand the situation? But no.

I tried to be nice after I’d had some time to process. We invited them out to dinner (which was my way of trying to make peace with her) not long after they got married. I sent Christmas gifts addressed to both of them. The fruit basket I sent one year ended up in the garage and my dad had to eat it out there. When I found that out? I stopped bothering to put her name on anything I sent to them.

When LG was born (emergency c-section) Mike called my dad’s house, she answered and promptly hung up on him. We both left countless messages that he never got. LG was born on a Thursday morning. My dad found out on SATURDAY when my aunt called and he happened to pick up the phone. At that point, I was done with being nice or being anything at all when it came to her. Now she had brought my child into it and that was the end of the road for me. Whatever. I didn’t marry her. I couldn’t care less if I had a relationship with her. All that really matters is that my dad is present in LG’s life.

There’s a lot more that has transpired in the 9 years since they got married, but that gives you a bit of an idea why I refuse to have anything to do with her.

Today, though, my father tried to give me a guilt trip about his nasty bitch of a wife. I, however, was having NONE of that. He said he “wished we could get along”. I said maybe if she apologized. He said he didn’t see her doing that. I shrugged my shoulders. He asked me to put her name on LG’s birthday party invitations. I told him no way and why. He said we both “make it hard on him”. I let him have it after that comment. I told him that NONE of this is my fault and that HE is the one who LETS her make it hard on him and to not even START blaming ME for her issues. I was pissed. I mean BIGTIME pissed. And I yelled. Because really? It isn’t my fault. He chose to marry her. He says he tries to explain things to her but she just can’t get past whatever. Hey guess what? Trying to explain things and standing up to someone are two entirely different things and knowing my dad? He does not stand up to her.

I am not about to put her name on an invitation even if the odds of her coming are probably zilch. I can pretty much guarantee she wouldn’t come, but even so it would seem to be disingenuous to me to put her name on an invitation like she is actually welcome in my home. She is not. I have washed my hands of her and want nothing more to do with her. Ever. She burned those bridges. Not me. I was so stressed out and upset over the situation for far far too long and I realized that the only reasonable thing I could do was just let it go. So that’s what I did. She is not welcome in my home. She is most certainly NOT welcome at my daughter’s birthday party. Not someone who said she didn’t want “that baby in her house”. I don’t want her negative energy destroying my child’s party. And besides that? I’m not going to be dishonest and act like she’s welcome when she isn’t. Maybe that’s wrong of me, but it’s not my job to make her happy. My job is to be the best parent I can be and being a good parent means not allowing a cancer like that into my daughter’s life. The end.

So yes, I’m totally pissed at my dad. And I do feel bad about that because my dad seemed really old to me today and it made me sad. And I didn’t want to get into this with him, but how DARE he try to lay a guilt trip on me for something his bitch of a wife can’t let go NINE f**king years later. She needs to grow up and grow some if you get my drift.

As for me? As soon as I’m done writing this post, I’m done with thinking about her. She is not worth my time. /end rant