First of all, let me explain that our home phone rarely rings. The only person who calls our home phone on a regular basis is my mother-in-law or my father. Everyone else pretty much calls our cell phones and we use our cell phones to talk to each other and most of our friends. So, if the home phone rings, it’s either parental units or surveys or stupid people who do not obey the do not call list.

So, we’re making dinner this evening and the home phone rings. I look at the number and it’s an 816 cell phone number and it says MO (which I assumed was Missouri and which I later looked and and verified that it was Missouri). I do have family in Missouri, so I thought it could possibly be one of them. Anyway, I answer the phone and the following conversation ensues:

Me: Hello?

Her: Is this Karin?

Me: Yes (still thinking it might be family, I don’t ask who’s calling)

Her: What connection do you have to “Unfamiliar name”?

Me: Who is this?  (reasonable question right?)

Her: Answer the question.

Me: (now I’m irritated because that’s just rude) Not until you tell me who this is.

Silence.

Me: I don’t know that name, but who is this?

Dial tone.

So, I go back to what I was doing (chopping veggies for our fajitas) and tell Mike about the phone call. A few minutes later, the phone rings again and it’s the same number. So I answer it again. And the following conversation ensues:

Me: Hello?  (But not nearly as friendly as the last time, trust me.)

Her: Is this Karin?

Me: Who’s calling please? (Obviously not family, so all pretence of niceness is gone.)

Her: The “Unfamilar Names”.

Me: What exactly do you want?

Her: Well, this may sound strange, but I was on the Better Homes and Gardens site and your name came up as logged into our computer.

Me: Well, I don’t know anyone named “Unfamiliar name” and your cell phone number says you’re in Missouri and I’m in Arizona, so I really don’t know how that could happen.

Silence then dial tone.

WTF?  Apparently (and I’m assuming here), she thinks her husband is being unfaithful or something and so she calls a stranger and gets all pissy?  How about next time you confront your husband first?

As to how my name came up as logged into their computer?  You got me. I’m going to assume it was a glitch at Better Homes and Gardens, because I can’t think of any reason why anyone would try and hack into a computer and log into a site like that, you know?  Either way, I went to the site and changed all my account information (which was nothing that was particularly sensitive – just name and address and that’s basically public information, so not a big huge deal as far as I’m concerned – just bizarre).  But lady, if you’re reading this by some strange chance?  Don’t call strangers on the phone and act all pissy.  Talk to your husband.  Sheesh.

But, guess what?  That’s not the end of the phone weirdness! I’m sure the fact that the next call followed in quick succession was entirely coincidence, but it sure was a mighty weird coincidence!

The next call came from a 480 number, which is local exchange, so that’s why I don’t think it had anything to do with the other calls.

Me: Hello?

Him: Is this Miss White? (which is not and never has been my name, by the way)

Me: Who’s calling please? (learned my lesson the last time!)

Him: Something Auto Glass – we recently did some glass work on her Kia Sportage. (I don’t have and have never had one of those.)

Me: You have the wrong number.

Him: Are you sure?

Me: I think I know what kind of car I have.

Him: Oh come on, are you sure you didn’t have one in the past?

Me: (flabbergasted and irritated and totally having lost my patience with idiots on the telephone) You have the wrong number.  Goodbye.  Click.

WTF?????

Seriously, have you ever felt like you were transported into another dimension? Or that you were being punked?  Or something?  Cuz seriously.  That was just…bizarre.