When to Let Go
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. And I’m not talking dirty diapers and tantrums here. I’m talking about being the one guiding your child through life and helping them to make decisions that will affect them forever.
We were at the swimming pool at our rental house tonight (one last swim before the tenants move in this weekend) and watching LG in the pool gave me such a clear picture of how we can affect her positively and negatively. Since I’m not really a swimmer, I’m nervous in the pool and when she wants to hang on me, it’s really stressful for me because it’s hard enough for me to feel comfortable enough keeping myself upright without a 33 pound human hanging all over me. Luckily for her though, her dad is there, too.
It’s been really awesome watching her over the course of the past few weeks as she gets braver and braver in the water. Tonight she was brave enough to let go of Mike’s hands now and then and float (in her swim vest) on her own. I was so proud of her and I can see that she’s probably going to be a natural swimmer (thank God). I told Mike that I get angry at my parents every time I get in the pool because I wish they would have forced me to take swimming lessons when I was a kid so that I could swim now. The older you get, the harder it is to overcome your fear. I’m sure that given the right circumstances, I could probably learn how to swim, but it’s really really scary to me to just let go and float. But she is facing her fears and doing it. And I’m doing everything in my power to not pass my fears onto her. That is the hard part.
My friend is going through a difficult time trying to decide whether or not to push her daughter to do something that her daughter is nervous and/or afraid of. And my heart goes out to her because I think the hardest thing that we have to do as parents is to try to figure out when to push and when not to. Even though you know inside that pushing them might be the “right” thing to do, you also know that it might not be the “best” thing to do.
There is one thing I do know, however. My friend is an awesome mom, and I am sure that if she follows what her heart tells her to do, it will be the right thing. And either way, she has people who will love and support the both of them.
