This week's movie review brought to you courtesy of my “date” with my three sisters-in-law…

What else would we see but…Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?

Excellent movie…terrific acting…it is a chick flick, though, so if you guys are not into chick flicks, you may want to pass on this one. I see Academy Award nominations from this baby, and well-deserved. The dysfunctional relationships made me think of my own present dysfunctional relationship. You probably need to take some tissue with you as there are definitely some teary moments. Loved it. Would see it again definitely.

And it was fun to spend the afternoon (lunch and movie) with my sisters-in-law (Mike's two sisters and his brother's wife). The four of us have never gone out like that before, and it was really nice.

So, that's my day! Hope you all had a great weekend, too!

Last night (in the midst of Mike's snoring) I thought of something I wanted to write about, but alas, all that being woken up and having to go back to sleep has removed it from my brain for the time being…perhaps it will come back to me…

Anyway, oh…I think I remember…click!

The fire is 35% contained now. What good news. They feel they've turned the corner. Many people were able to go home yesterday as well. And watching it all made me cry. I am, as those who know me are well aware, a very emotional person, but this touched me unusually. My emotions welled up for the people who wondered when they left if they'd ever be able to return to their beloved homes. The relief they must have felt to hear those words. Welcome home. For the people who finally got to go back and see what was left. To have to start over again. But they have their lives and families and friends. For the people who still don't know if they have a home to go back to. The agony they must go through daily with the wondering. For the people who are still in the shelters waiting, wondering, hoping. For the people who have put their lives on hold to help strangers just because it's the right thing to do. There are very good people here. Makes me proud to be an Arizonan.

For those of you watching from other places, I know you get the news and probably see what's going on, but here it is really the only story. The majority of the local newscasts is devoted to this. Everything else is afterthought. It has been devastating, but not as devastating as it could have been. The firefighters have worked tirelessly. The people in the evacuation shelters have been working day in and day out. One said something to the effect of, it's a 24 hour job for me because for them it's a 24 hour ordeal.

35% contained. For many, it's over. For others, the waiting continues. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And that's a good thing.

So I hear voices and I go to look out the window and what do I see? My neighbors have pulled up their chairs and sat down with their beers. Well, what's wrong with that you might ask? Well, I'll be happy to tell you! They have pulled up their chairs and their beers and sat in my driveway behind my car. Yes, now my driveway is their lounging place. Will it never end??????

I really just want to go out, start my car, and start backing out…oh gee…didn't see you there…in my DRIVEWAY! :P

And finally…I have finished The Hobbit. And I enjoyed it. I wondered for awhile when I started it, if I would ever be able to finish it, but once I really got into it, it was not an easy read, but an enjoyable one, and the more I got used to the language, the easier it became.

So now I'm in a quandary as to what to read next…do I continue with Middle Earth and go for The Fellowship of the Rings? Or do I read something totally different. I will have to ponder it…

As for books, here are my thoughts on the ones I had to read for my class…

The Rifle by Gary Paulsen: The first part of the book is tedious as it is a description of how the rifle is made (not unimportant, but tedious). The rest is somewhat disturbing. I didn't really like it. Would appeal mostly to boys from probably 5th - 9th grade.

The Car also by Gary Paulsen: Good read, interesting concept for a story. I could take it or leave it. Would probably appeal to boys from 6th-9th grade.

Canyons also by Gary Paulsen. This one I really liked. It had a little closure at the end and the relationship between the main character and his mother grew stronger throughout the book which was nice to see. Also appealing to boys from 6th-9th grade or so.

The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi. I could take or leave this book, but I think girls in 5th - 9th grade would like it. Set in the 19th century, Charlotte has to travel by ship to America to reunite with her family by herself with only a crew prepared for mutiny and a cruel Captain. Strong female character.

Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. This is a wonderful book about the Danish viewpoint of World War II and their struggle to help their Jewish friends and loved ones survive the Holocaust. Aimed mainly at girls but I think boys would like it, too in 4th-8th grades.

Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli. This was probably my favorite book. It should appeal to both boys and girls (as the two main characters are a girl and a boy) in 6th - high school. This is the story of girl who chooses to be different and what happens because of it. Awesome awesome book. I would recommend this one to adults as well.

Ladies and Gentlemen…

Drum roll please…

As of this morning's venture on the scale (the scale is your friend…the scale is your friend…) I have lost….

30 POUNDS!!!!!!!

10 more to go to goal weight. I am indeed pleased, proud, thrilled, and otherwise ecstatic. So please join me in a round of applause…for ME!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I think what I have found most interesting in the past couple of days is that not only does everyone seem to have an opinion on what happened in the Court of Appeals, but that people are so very emotional about it. Now, don't get me wrong, my love of country and God is very strong, but I try not to let that get in the way of being able to see someone else's point of view. And believe me, I do see the other point of view. Doesn't mean I agree with it necessarily, but I see it and I accept (since that is one of our basic freedoms) another's right to say it.

I've also learned that people (read teachers) that I would have expected to be the most open-minded about things, are not necessarily. Perhaps to be a good teacher, you need to have strong opinions that you are passionate about. But, my view of teaching is that you must expose children to all sides of a story. If I give one viewpoint, or if a book that I read gives one particular opinion, I at least try to balance it with the other side EVEN if I don't agree with the other side. I don't use my classroom to further my own agenda. But that's just me. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule.

Before yesterday, I'd never really given much thought to saying the Pledge. We do it every day, and that's the way it is. I do try to make sure they understand what they are saying and why they are saying it, but beyond that I never really thought that much about it. I like saying it, but the point has been raised in other blogs I frequent that maybe we shouldn't be pledging allegiance to the flag AND the republic, but just to the republic itself. I'd never really pondered that thought. Now I am. And I don't yet know exactly where I stand.

Symbols are interesting things. The flag is a symbol. A very strong and important symbol in this country. I know that the ragged, tattered flag that came from the World Trade Center and was brought out during the Olympics had the power to bring me to tears…”our flag was still there.” Symbols evoke strong emotions. That is, I believe, part of their purpose. The eagle. The statue of liberty. The flag. And so on. In Christianity, the cross. But I do not worship the cross. I worship God. The cross is a symbol…something tangible that we can touch and see and recognize. So is the flag. It is a tangible symbol of our country and to many of our freedom. To me, that is important, but I realize and can understand that others don't need tangible symbols to feel patriotism or love of country. So in effect, I guess I don't really pledge allegiance to the flag itself, rather only as a symbol of the republic which, with all its faults, is still the best place I can think of to live. And because I love this country, I respect the right of others to disagree with my opinion, but I also expect them to respect my right to have my own.

I think that it is important for people to be passionate and have opinions and beliefs, but I think it very wrong for them to discount others opinions and beliefs just because they don't agree with them.

“We, the people of the United States of America, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” (Thank you Schoolhouse Rock.)

And so a more perfect union was formed, but not a perfect one. I don't think such a thing exists, and I don't know that I want it to.

And really, with the possibility of more terrorist strikes looming, with hundreds of people in Arizona homeless because of a wildfire, with racism, domestic abuse, crime, etc. out there…I think there are more important things for everyone (including Mr. whatever his name is and Judge whatever his name is) to think about then whether or not the Pledge says “under God”, but hey, that's just my opinion. The Constitution says I can state it. So there.

I have been reading what other people have written…I've been hearing what other people have been saying…and my mind keeps churning…

I think that the reminders of God (or a higher power if you will) throughout our country's documents, songs, symbols, etc. are not so much reminders to our citizens (or at least not only to them), but more importantly reminders to our government that there is a higher power. That our leaders need to always remember that they are not the ultimate power in our nation. That they must answer not only to the citizens, but to themselves, and to God. I think that the early leaders of our country were much more acutely aware of this than many are today. They have their own agendas, goals, causes, and careers that they are interested in furthering rather than necessarily being focused on the greater good. I hate to say that, but unfortunately I feel it is true. I cannot for certain say that politicians in the early days of our country were completely selfless, either, in fact, I'm sure they were not always, but I like to think and hope and believe that their ideals were a little more pure then.

I dunno…just food for thought…the direction my mind has taken me today…I'm sure this will be continued…

So here I sit preparing for my last day of class. This was a great class, one in which I gained a lot of knowledge, and hopefully inspiration to take back to my classroom. One in which I realized I do have a brain in my skull, and it works rather nicely, thank you. One in which I met some nice people (only two of which were younger than me - nice change…ha!). Now I have 6 hours of graduate credit. That is a good feeling. I've accomplished something this summer besides sitting on my arse in front of the computer…woohoo!

In other news, the fire is now 10% contained. They have said, by the time it's over, the area it encompassed will be bigger than the city of Los Angeles. Mind-boggling. Kudos to all those who have worked their butts off to fight this thing, and my heart goes out to everyone who has lost their home, and to those who don't know yet. Show Low and Pinetop/Lakeside have been spared, and those people will probably get to go home next week.

Independence Day fireworks will be few and far between in this state this year - too much risk with it being so dry.

And, finally, John Entwistle has died. The old rock n rollers are leaving us one by one. It's only near the beginning of a long parade, I'm afraid. But that's the cycle of life. And life goes on….

Too much heavy stuff lately…I need to cheer myself up…so…

Might I just say that I have really enjoyed this class I've been taking this week? We have had the opportunity to discuss books each day, something I rarely, if ever, get the opportunity to do with other adults, and I've been pleasantly surprised to find that I'm actually pretty good at it! (I'm sure those of you who know me well, are not surprised to find I have strong opinions on things, but anyway…) It's been nice to exercise my brain this summer, and it hasn't been painful at all.

School is fun! (Even for the teacher.)

Normally, I shy away from political statements in my journal, but I find I can't keep my mouth shut on this one…

So, now the pledge of allegiance is offensive. All right. Okay. Now, let me tell you what I find offensive.

The other day in our class, we read a book called The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey. A beautiful book, about the quiet power of a child to heal the troubled heart of a man. But the discussion following on the book did not center on the beauty and power of the story, but rather on the fact that the word “Jesus” was used in the book, and would we feel comfortable using it in our classroom. This is not a story about religion. Yes, Jesus is mentioned because in the story, Jonathan Toomey is carving a nativity for a boy and his mother. Those are incidental details, and are NOT the point of the story. The story does not in any way, shape, or form, teach Christianity. I am offended because we ever had to have that discussion. As a teacher in a public school (a charter school in my case, but public nonetheless), it is not my job to espouse or teach religion. That is the job of a parent and a church. However, it is my job, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to teach cultural awareness, and whether everyone likes it or not, Christianity is a part of our culture in this country. There. I've said it. This country was founded by Christians. That is a truth that cannot be ignored. It was founded on Christian principles and beliefs. You find them in our Declaration of Independence, although our forefathers had the foresight to realize that in founding a country in which to be able to practice religious freedom, they had to be open to any religion. That document contains the phrase “…endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights…”. The Creator that he had in mind when he wrote that was the Christian God. Of this, I am certain. However, because of the wording, it is open to interpretation. This is a good thing. The Constitution grants us freedom of religion (which is inclusive of any religion or no religion). Look, I'm not saying whether using the phrase “under God” is right or is wrong. I can see both sides. What I am saying is that perhaps things have gone too far. I hear so many people say that Christians seem to forget that religious freedom goes both ways. Well, I never forget that. I believe that every person has the right to believe and worship the way they choose or not choose to. Including Christians. And so, I guess my bottom line is this: Christianity is part of the American culture. This does not mean that ANYONE has the right to shove it down anyone else's throat. But neither does anyone have the right to erase it's cultural teaching (note I did not say religious teaching) from our schools.

So, back to the Pledge of Allegiance. As I said, I can see both sides. I am not firmly on one side or the other. Both sides raise good points. What I'm more worried about is that things have swung too far and people are in danger of forgetting the morals and beliefs the country was founded on. I hope that never happens.

*The fire is 5% contained…perhaps the President was our lucky charm.

*I've enjoyed all this reading I've had to do for my class. It was nice to be exposed to books I'd otherwise probably not have read.

*The Pledge of Allegiance ruling…I will probably say a lot more later, but I need time to really put my thoughts together. What would probably surprise many people is how many schools already do NOT say it. (Ours does, but I've worked at others which did not.)

*Still not sure how I feel about the whole dad issue at the moment…it needs to settle in my mind a bit I guess.

*It was cloudy this morning, and I saw lightning driving to class. We need rain. I pray it comes soon.

*The summer is practically half-over. *sigh* It will be ending all too soon.

The fire rages on. More homes are lost. More businesses. The fire has been burning for over a week now. A week! At first, there were two fires. Now it has become one…”the biggest of all big fires”. Yes, we're used to these things in the west. But this is beyond the scope of anything I've ever experienced. And though it is nowhere near our homes and livelihoods, we see the faces on television, and feel their pain, and wonder, what would we do? What would we take with us if we had to make a choice of what material possessions were the most important? What is irreplaceable? A friend has a home in the town of Lakeside which is being threatened by the fire. So now it has a familiar face…the pain.

You may wonder why I'm angry. A fire, after all, is an act of nature. What could be done? It's just life, isn't it? Not in this case. If the fires were started by natural causes, I would be more able to accept whatever came. But both of these fires were started by human beings. One because of stupidity, and one because of malice. And that makes me angry. So angry that one human being could have so much malevolence in them as to destroy the foundation of hundreds, even thousands of lives. So angry that one human being could be so clueless that they got lost and had to start a fire to be found. Oh, I guess one can forgive another person for stupidity, in time. But for malevolence? For malice? I don't know about that.

I just know I'm angry, and every day the fire burns and every home and business and dream that is destroyed, makes the anger grow. The anger will pass, as it always does, but the sadness will stay for a long time.

The saga continues…

The phone rings this afternoon, and by the number on the caller ID I see that it is Mike calling from the new house. Being the middle of the afternoon, I am perplexed as to why he would be calling me, and so I answer the phone with “Hi Sweetie, what's up?” A strange voice comes on the phone and says “This is Mike.” Well, I knew for a fact that it wasn't, because if there is one voice I know in the world, it is my husband's, so I get a little freaked out…”Who IS this????” Well, come to find out…
it's my dad. He's up at the lot with Mike because the wife is out of town for the week. This is actually the first time since we've started building that my father has seen our house. Is that sad or what? Anyway, he and Mike talked for a long time, and my father is in his words “torn up” about the whole situation. Which doesn't really change anything, but it appears that my letter and Mike's follow-up have stirred things up quite a bit, and perhaps that is a good thing. My father clarified why his wife is upset with us, and it is as we suspected…the phone call that I wouldn't answer [does anyone out there have any idea how entirely disgusted I am with her childish behavior over this…GET OVER IT ALREADY…what kind of person lets something like that come between a parent and a child??? And she PROFESSES to be a Christian…]. I reiterated that I had the right to be selfish and grieve in my own way, and that if she didn't like it, it was too bad, and he basically agreed with that. So, she's out of town to go back to visit her son (old friend of mine), and they and her grandson are going to drive back out here. So my father wants to sit and have a talk with son and see if he can help him do something. This partially because Mike keeps telling Dad that they need to get help. I believe that to be very true, as it sounds to me like she has some psychological problem that needs to be dealt with. Dad says he doesn't expect us to love each other, just to be friendly to one another. I wonder if that will ever be possible? All I know is if anyone owes anyone an apology, it is she who owes it to me. Not that that will happen, but there you go. The beat goes on. We will see what the future holds.

To be continued….

I have been strangely inspired to write lately. It's like after all these years of only writing when I had to, or when something was wrong, my soul is bursting to express itself, and so I'm trying to let it. When I was a child, I wrote constantly. I loved to write, there was probably nothing else that gave me more pleasure save reading a book. But something happened in college. I guess I couldn't take anyone tearing my work apart, and so I became discouraged and quit writing. But it's been almost twenty years since I began college, and I'm a different person now. So, I am once again strangely inspired. The tools are even better now, even though I don't mind taking pen to paper, the computer is so much easier and there is less likelihood of it getting lost in a pile of papers somewhere.

So, what am I writing? Well, when I graduated from high school, I said I wanted to be the next Erma Bombeck. I don't know if that is really the case anymore, but I do know that I've always wanted to write books. No, not the great American novel. At some point in my life, I developed a desire to write children's books, but I never thought I had anything to say. Now, after 7 years of teaching and having read hundreds of children's book to kids, knowing their reactions to them, I think I might be able to do it. So, I've begun the germ of an idea. A rough draft, if you will. It may never see the light of day. No child, save my own some day maybe, may ever crack open it's crisp new pages and breathe in the new book smell, feel it's smoothness, gaze at the beautiful illustrations, and wrap their tongues around the words as they read it. No, that may never happen. But, it could. And so, I'm going to give it my best shot. I've realized lately, that the most I can ever ask of myself (or anyone else for that matter) is to try my best. There is no need for me to be perfect. And not being perfect doesn't mean failing. Not trying my best is failure. Quitting is failure. And I've decided that I will not except failure. I will just try my best. And if that's not good enough, so be it. At least I will have tried.

Cd recommendation for ya: Linda Eder: Gold

She is a Broadway singer, however this album is her twist on some pop songs. She definitely has an awesome set of pipes. Very talented lady…proof that Star Search wasn't a wasted effort…hahaha.

There is a song on the album which is entitled “Gold”. She performed it at the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics and Kristi Yamaguchi skated to it.

A few of the lines in this song really really hit me, especially in light of all that I'm struggling with at the present time, and I'm going to share them with you:

And now I lay the past to rest,
For in the end I did my best

You have to live the life you're given
And never close your eyes!
You hold on and stare into the skies
And burn against the cold -
For any moment you might find the gold!

(song was written by Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton to give proper credit)

That line…”You have to live the life you're given and never close your eyes!” blew me away. Because living life doesn't mean merely existing. It means LIVING. Even when things happen that we don't like, we have to LIVE. Don't close your eyes - keep them focused on the goal…on the prize…in this song - the gold…whatever that may be.

Music has always had a huge impact on me, this is no surprise…but what always surprises me is how songs come along at times when I need them the most (remember I said before that there are no coincidences).

I will learn this song. I will sing it. And I will try to live the life I'm given and never close my eyes, and if I can do that, then in the end, I will know I've done my best.